Last night I caught a screening of The Ugly Truth and this morning I’m going to spoil it. You may want to revisit this essay after you’ve had a chance to see it (it opens wide on Friday). I’m not sure I can totally recommend it, but will say that it has its moments - I think most people will actually kind of enjoy it - so make of that what you will.
The Ugly Truth starts with some hard hitting observations - I liked it. It was more like Neil Strauss’ The Game than He’s Just Not That In To You - then (spoiler, but you knew it) it goes soft. Granted it make some excellent points, that would negate the value of The Game, here is a self help guy that dismisses all other self help guys - with a point. No offense to anybody, but there is a multimillion dollar industry with these self help books and dating websites out there. Some work, perhaps - others seem like a waste.
Now for a full on disclosure: I am single. It is by choice, soon there will be a life circumstance change I will have that will allow me to look for something more serious but until then I like my life style. What men want, as the film would agree I think, is freedom with the ability to have sex any time you want. Of coarse the reality, and (I don’t disagree, it only seems fair) is that real relationships require investment, some times sacrifice to make sure it works. It may be small things, like going to see The Proposal with your girl - or going to some party thing that you really don’t want to go to. I spoke to a friend the other day who was on vacation with his girl, he sounded miserable. The things we do for beatiful women.
Of coarse there are women that put up with a lot of shit from guys. Too much. They are are looking for that perfect guy and end up staying in a relationship they are ultimately unhappy with because they don’t want to risk the social implications of walking away from this person. Or they have a kid with him. The Ugly Truth assumes everyone is 30, good looking and single. Most people I know are pretty average looking, but the film’s softness towards the end negates its message in the beginning.
I often know being burned by love can lead one to dismiss it, often for years at a time. After all in Neil Strauss’ The Game, the whole “pick up artist” culture was born out of rejection: the men weren’t traditionally handsome or athletic, never dated the hot girls, now they’re out to bang as many as they can, at first by rejecting them. Gerard Butler’s Billy Mays look alike Mike isn’t a terrible guy- he claims the rejection advise isn’t for girls in puberty, but “hot 25-year olds that can get any guy they wanted”. Still does it work, it assumes using the technique will get you attention, but perhaps of the wrong kind. I would illustrate an example I once observed out, some times harsh techniques like being a jerk will lead the girl to hook up with a guy who isn’t a jerk, say someone like yours truly.
As far as I’m concerned I’m not taking these things too seriously. After all movies, books, television, music effect how our culture behaves. Some reflect really dark places (ie: Lil’ Wayne and Young Money who are the rap game’s equivalent to R. Crumb: they go places that are too clinical for the average person, but then again Lil’ Wayne has his own women probables, he’s knocked up 3 so far. Then again why would any self respecting women sleep with a guy who sings “I wish I could fuck every girl in the world”? I’ll let somebody out there answer that - and trust me there some girls I wouldn’t go near).
The Ugly Truth has the power to make some hard hitting social observations, it seems fresh for the first 20-minutes, I had thought I got a more upbeat, less mean spirited version of In The Company of Men. Neil Labute’s In The Company of Men is brilliant but harsh, it’s the ugly truth - we know more men like Aaron Eckhart’s Chad in that film than like Gerard Butler’s Mike or even Eric Winter’s Colin, the young/handsome doctor from next door in Ugly Truth.
Then again one of the things I deal with, especially with my producer is the fact you don’t go to the movies to see people you know on screen, you go to see an escapist fantasy. You want the guy to get there girl at the end, even if its not the point of the film. I remember when the virtually unwatchable The Break Up came out, everyone hated it. I hated it because it was boring and a lot like a sitcom. Everyone else hated it because the couple didn’t get together - those dumb bastards: it’s called The Break Up. Right?
So why was I pissed when opposites attracted at the end of The Ugly Truth. I agree - Katherine Heigl is a lovely women, but the control freak aspect of her is off putting. For example she’s goes out on a dates prepared with talking points and the guy’s background check. Scary stuff.
But think about this: eHarmony, JDate, Plenty of Fish, Match.com - and so on - are good in that you wouldn’t have to settle for the luck of the draw you get in real life- there are plenty of fish out there, all presumably single. You can filter out the guy that watches NASCAR obsessively - unless you like that sort of thing.
But doesn’t it take some of the fun out of the searching? Maybe I’m young and optimistic but I try to find women when I’m out, interesting. I’m not looking for a random hook-up that night, I’m looking for somebody who I could potentially hang out with again. The sites take the fun out of asking the right questions by listing essentially what their favorite music, movies and TV shows are. If I were to go out on a date with someone from a site like that I would have this preconceived notion of the person knowing they love the show Hells Kitchen and their favorite song is awful one where they sing ‘shush girl, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips”. That doesn’t sound like somebody I’d ever be interested in, but if I’m out talking to her and this doesn’t come up, it’ll help me to build a good impression.
My friend Ercan Bas gave me some advise: you should always appear to be mysterious. Same for a women, The Ugly Truth builds an ideal women out of the modest Katherine Heigl who is beatiful but dresses for comfort and efficiency. One of the film’s best exchanges goes like this:
“What’s wrong with comfort and efficiency?”
“Nothing, but who wants to fuck it?”
This was the movie that He’s Just Not That In To You should have been - that film, was desperate while only flirting with observing normal human behavior. The main character really felt creepy without really having to be: as I said I would have enjoyed having dinner with her, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed the 15 follow up calls that would have come along with it. The Ugly Truth starts off with a theory: men are programed a certain way, then it reverts to being a formula romantic comedy. Yes, I should have known it’s a slightly more edgy date movie from the trailers and it’s going to work out, but the R-rating gave me hope. If your restricting admission to those under 17 why shader a bubble or two. Why can’t she choose someone all together different and Mike go on as a motivational speaker. Is romance the real end to the hunt? I suppose, after all a film needs a conclusion (except Matrix: Reloaded).
The film, rancher than most ends in orgasm which is a subtle nod to a women taking back the power. The power shifts all of the place here and that’s interest to watch as a tennis match of sorts. The pursuit I suppose ends with fulfillment, but why should it? Chasing Amy ended in heartbreak and it was brilliant, smart and sharply observed, while presenting all sorts of impossibilities (like a beatiful lesbian falling in love with Ben Affleck).
The first half of The Ugly Truth is useful, more so than the self help books. I like Billy Bob Thoroton’s quote in the otherwise unmemorable School for Scoundrels “How can you help yourself, when yourself sucks”. Good point. Most of the modern literature we have about love comes in the form of pop songs, most give us templates for how to live, love or get over love. Just look at the iTunes top 10:
I Got A Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas - this sounds like it could be an ad for alcohol, I keep expecting to hear a bland announcer come on towards the end of the song and say “Hennessy - 40% alcohol by volume, drink responsibly”.
Fire Burning by Sean Kingston - not about the Station night club fire in West Warwick, RI but about a crazy night at a club - I had one of those at the Borgata last fall while out in AC on business.
You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift - a vivid, well told story about small town life and telling yourself: soon you’ll see... you belong with me.
Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas - more of the same, damn The Black Eyed Peas are loosing their edge and getting too commercial sounding. Not commercial as in selling a lot of records, but commercial as in they sound like they’re making radio jingles, I keep thinking an announcer is going to tell me about Verizon’s latest service break through at some during the song.
Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship - need I say more - “I make them good girls go bad”. Fantasy, sure.
Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato - don’t know it as well as the rest but it sounds like from the sample a women is dealing with the same shit from her “unforgettable” and “addictive” man. Hopefully he doesn’t beat her.
Best I Ever Had by Drake - a template for telling a girl who wonderful she is, even if gross he claims he can make her vagina whistle like the Andy Griffith Theme Song. I’m not making this up, I feel dirty for observing that. See isn’t Lil Wayne and his Young Money crew just a tad too clinical for the mainstream. Am I the only one that thinks being made uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean its good - and I’m no prude.
LoveGame by Lady Gaga - She’s the new Michael Jackson, this one is pure fun. Deal with it.
He Could Be The One by Hannah Montana - need i say more.
Use Somebody by Kings of Leon - I can explain their sudden popularity - look at the rest of the top 10, here we have a band that’s still pretty young (their mean age is 27) that appeal to everyone who feels alienated by the rest of the top 10. I feel most of it is for “kids” - where as Kings of Leon are dealing with things the same way that a real human being does, not some character on the Disney channel. I can’t say the same for Jordin Sparks, Kristinia DeBarge, Soulja Boy, and Beyonce. That and their music is good, I’ve been a fan since the McFearless days, nice to see you’re finally on board.
As for films that offer templates for how to live, there are many in the top 10 (none of which last weekend were I Love You Beth Cooper, speaking of Disney channel charactures) but they’re hard to really talk about since can be more complex then music, you can think of a film like reviewing a whole album. This was my review of The Ugly Truth, so for all the women looking for guys out there - don’t just like what in the top 10, we’ve been there and done that.
Meeting someone is often destiny. I still contend and you can find it fully explored in the Fink archives that meeting someone you like is best explained by the music video Fine Again. A pretty girl in the middle of a crowded carnival holds a sign reading “I Will Change Your Life” - but if you don’t notice her, don’t strike up a conversation, don’t find her interesting, had a bad day and be a dick to her - she may not change your life. Everyone has potential, it’s just unlocking that potential. Isn’t that part of the fun along the way? Why rush it?
Now I’m off to write my self help book.
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